All parents are confronted with the common dilemma – what is the degree to which they should be disciplinarians without being overbearing, authoritative without curbing the child’s freedom and loving and caring without spoiling or pampering the child too much. For effective parenting, one must learn to strike the right balance as parenting can be a joyful yet challenging experience but toddlers are at a crucial stage of development, exploring their independence and learning about the world around them hence, finding the right balance is the most crucial aspect of effective parenting.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Ajay Gupta, Founder of Bachpan Play Schools and Academic Heights Public Schools and Co-Founder of Rishihood University and Must and More Diagnostic Center, shared, “There are now various types of parenting in today’s world. For example, authoritative parents tend to have strict rules and high expectations for their children. They enforce discipline and obedience, often using punishment as a means of control. Permissive parents are the ones who are lenient and indulgent, often allowing their children to have their way and avoiding setting clear boundaries. They avoid discipline and prioritize their child’s immediate desires over long-term development.”
He added, “Most of all, balanced parents are the ones who are firm and decisive in life-changing situations and warm and lenient during other times. Balanced parents ensure a healthy bond development between parents and children. By being compassionate and a good listener, balanced parents can be effective on children because kids get the confidence and trust that even if they will share something wrong, then instead of scolding they will get guidance. It is hence more than important for parents to find the right balance of effective parenting. Schools also, no doubt, play an important role in the development of parent-child relationships.”
Shikha Banerjee, Principal at Seth Anandram Jaipuria School in Kanpur, advised, “You should extend all love, care and support to your child but make sure the child doesn’t become dependent on you for doing little things or over-possessive of you to the extent that he or she suffers from separation anxiety. Encourage your children to do things on their own, rather than doing things for them. Be a ‘guide on the side’ rather than a problem-solver for your child. Be permissive, but not disengaged. Most importantly, develop a clear understanding of your child’s behavior, needs and desires. Effective parenting requires an equitable and even-handed approach to ensure that the child grows up to be a confident critical thinker who is physically fit and emotionally strong and resilient. Accepting the child with his or her qualities and limitations is of utmost importance.”
According to Sanjeeda Zaidi, Founder and teacher at Lesson Up, a crucial aspect to consider is the need to exhibit the qualities that you want your child to possess. She said, “Developing your character and creating an environment that reflects your virtues is crucial. This process is essential in parenting as it sets the right environment within the family. Furthermore, it also lays the foundation for cultivating happiness and affection. The surrounding environment can shape your child’s character more than any institutional influence. It is important to remember that your character plays a significant role in raising children. Let us now delve into some critical questions: What should we focus on teaching and what measures should we embrace? It is vital to instill the skill of asking questions in your children, not as a way to doubt, but as a way to genuinely gain knowledge.”
She recommended, “Using questions is an effective way to garner a deeper understanding of any subject. Teaching your child to question things will equip them with the valuable skill of critical thinking, which may lead them to question even your beliefs. Also, encouraging healthy curiosity enables children to continually exercise their intelligence. Fostering an environment of love and acceptance when raising a child can have beneficial effects, but it does not assure a specific outcome. Ultimately, the most crucial thing in life is whether or not you have put forth your best effort. Therefore, practical parenting demands finding a balance, nurturing your child, promoting intellectual curiosity, and doing everything possible to guide their growth and development.”
By:- Ms. Shikha Banerjee, Principal, Seth Anandram Jaipuria School, Kanpur
Published on: 13th August 2023
Published URL: https://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/relationships/tips-on-finding-the-right-balance-for-effective-parenting-101691919814718.html
Published By: Hindustan Times